You know you are in Kolkata when...

• You feel all sticky and moist on the skin all the time
• Some rickshaws are still pulled by hand
• Bus conductors call out the bus route at every stop
• Buses race with one another and overtake from the left
• Trams crawl on the streets at turtle speed
• Taxis come in Ambassador models
• Auto-rickshaws are without a meter
• The metro railway charging the same fare since the past 10 years
• A taxi or a truck on wrong side of the road causes traffic jam for hours
• A white cloth policeman try to control the insane traffic
• Two locals fight over a penny’s worth
• People use umbrellas on bright sunny afternoons (for shade)
• Every other day, Mamata di is in the news
• Vans / autorickshaws fitted with loudspeakers blare political propaganda all year round
• Band are called or rallies organized every other day
• Ruling party still does not change for 20-25 years
• Gender loses all significance in the speech
• Bidi is more popular than cigarette
• In September and October, people go berserk with Pujo shopping
• Pandals of all shapes and sizes, imitating almost anything on earth and beyond are built to celebrate Durga Puja
• When the new moon of Kartik means the worship of Goddess Kali and not Diwali
• When Holi and Rakshabandhan are celebrated one day prior to the rest of India
• You can see the Vidyasagar Setu and the Howrah bridge from 5^th floor and above of every building in the city
• You get lost in the lanes and bylanes of Burrabazar
• You find yourself buying cheap electronic goods from the streets in Chandni Chowk
• You go for a morning walk or to play cricket / football matches in the grounds of the Victoria Memorial
• Rabindra-geet is played at every Bengali function
• Saurav ‘dada’ Ganguly is never wrong
• You bump into a Pan shop at every turn of the road
• Your sweet tooth craves for Mishti Doi or Sondesh or Rossogulla or the delicious Chhena sweet from the shop next door
• Samosas are called Singharas
• You see people gropping puchkas and churmurs by the second or gulping gallons of water after jhalmuri at the roadside thellawallah
• Bhat- maach becomes your staple diet and chaa (tea) your favourite drink

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